Friday 20 January 2023

International Fetish Day

Whilst pondering what I could do to mark International Fetish Day, I not only found myself wondering whether I have any fetishes, but if I knew what a fetish actually was. It's one of the words that many of us probably use without giving too much thought but I wanted to find out if my understanding of it is was strictly correct.

Time for some research and this is one definition that I found:

"A fetish is a strong and persistent sexual desire for an object, body part, or situation that is not typically considered sexual. This can include objects such as shoes or underwear, body parts such as feet or hair, or situations such as bondage or voyeurism. 

Some people with fetishes may be able to achieve sexual satisfaction through the use of the object or body part, while others may simply have a strong desire for it without acting on it. 

Having a fetish is considered a normal variation of human sexuality, but it can become problematic if it interferes with one's ability to form healthy relationships or causes significant distress."

Whilst this somewhat clears things up for me, it does raise one further question. I've always tended to use the terms 'Fetish' and 'Kink' fairly interchangeably but now I'm wondering if that is correct. Perhaps there is some nuance between the two, such as a kink being more sexual? 

I wasn't sure though so, once again, it's time to turn to my trusty old friend, the Merriam Webster dictionary, for guidance. That describes a kink as "unconventional sexual taste or behaviour".

So the nuance here seems to be that a kink is something that turns you on, whereas a fetish is something you need in order to get turned on. In other words, one is something you like but the other is something you need. I think...

Regardless of any uncertainty, I would say that this is research that has paid off because, although I am a self-confessed voyeur, I never previously would have considered that to be a fetish. But apparently, by the first definition I found, it is! So that's something new that I've learned about myself. Although, going back to my previous point, it is something that turns me on but not something that I need if I want to get turned on. So fetish or a kink?! I just don't know!

Also, it occurred to me that I do have a bit of a thing for pegging. Again, probably that probably goes down as a kink rather than a fetish?

Either way, in the space of just a few minutes, I've gone from considering myself to be fairly vanilla in my sexual preferences, to realising that I might actually be at least a little bit kinky. Who knew?!

This definition I found seems to confirm that pegging falls more into kink territory than fetish territory:

"Pegging is a sexual practice in which a woman penetrates a man's anus with a strap-on dildo. It is not considered a fetish in and of itself, but it can be a part of a fetish or kink for some individuals. 

Some people may have a fetish for the act of penetration itself, or for the power dynamic involved in pegging. However, not all people who engage in pegging necessarily have a fetish for it. It can also be simply a way for couples to explore new forms of sexual pleasure together."

I guess the take away is that I'm a bit kinky but not a fetishist. But what do you think? Let me know!

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