Saturday, 7 December 2024

Happy 12 Years


I'm not sure which one I find more unbelievable; that this lewd little community has been going strong for 12 years now, or that I have been part of it for almost 10 years (my decade anniversary coming up in March).

Like with anything that has been around for that long, there have inevitably been ups and downs, both for the community in general and for these parties that are intended to bring us altogether every once in a while.

In my humble opinion, it has been tended to be on the down end of the spectrum with a number of recurring issues that I've already spoken about at great length previous reviews, for most of them on more than one occasion. So I'm not going to linger on those apart from to acknowledge where I feel the event has still be found wanting.

I always like to start on a positive though, so let's celebrate the long overdue return of one of my favourite aspects of these events; the red carpet photography run!


I would also like to say that the theming was pretty decent. The last event for Halloween was a good return to form on that front after a series of events for which the theming was basically none existent or just completely inappropriate.

For this event, they definitely had that party vibe down though. Balloons. Cakes. Presents. Did I mention cakes already? Yup, all the classic party requirements ticked off.

Oh, but this is one other, and this has certainly been a bone of contention in the past. Because what good party doesn't have a suitably lively set of party tunes for guests to dance and sing along to. And that's a really key point. For a birthday party, the majority of guests should be able to recognise each and every song. It should be one classic or hit after another which everyone can get into.

The frustration is that good music really should be one of the easiest elements to get right but the various different event organisers just seem interested in picking in picking names and just leaving them to it without any guidance. I genuinely don't remember the last event where I felt like the music selection was suitable for theme. 

Nevertheless, things actually got off to a good start this time. I'm not just saying that because Perrie was up first behind the decks and she's a friend. I'm saying that because she actually gets it and went to the effort of playing a set that had a party vibe. 

An early inclusion of Boogie Wonderland, not only had me giving her a 5 star rating for her set, but also high hopes that maybe this events got it also and we'd be in for a cracking set of tunes. Those hopes didn't last too long though. Normal service was resumed with the typical generic dance music. Bleh...


My other main complaint was that, in a bid to make this party as spectacular as possible, they over-reached. A peak attendance of just under 700 people at once was way beyond anything that we've managed in the past. And yes, it is a wonder demonstration of how strong the community is. 

But when you have a party that last for at least 6 hours (I'm not sure how much longer it went on for after I left around that time), it provides a much better experience for everyone if you can spread all those guests out across that time period. 

Yes, we had over 600 people for an hour or so early in the night, but things then tailed off dramatically to the point where there were maybe only 200 people when I finally departed. Having a consistent occupancy of 400- 500 people for the entire duration would have given a more consistent atmosphere as well as reducing the massive overcrowding that we had to tolerate early doors.

At least we didn't have the navigation problems of the Halloween party. Sensibly, and much s I suggested in the review of the party, the party locale was nice and wide open so we didn't have anyone who wanted to explore the place getting caught up in narrow choke points.

Happily for people like me, there were also plenty of photo op displays for guest to pose by. I've already mentioned the return of the red carpet, which was also were you'd find community founders Gizmo and Lisa living it large. Also a pair of delicious and suitable grand looking birthday cakes. Although, I'm not convinced they were legit cakes and not simply display pieces, but whatever.... there was no shortage of cakes so all good on that front.

So, overall, how was it? From an organiser's point of view, I reckon it would be considered a massive massive, what with the huge turn out of guests and the number of them who were getting hyped. Even if a lot of that hype boiled down to them having been given incentives to be there. It's amazing what the offer of a bunch of giveaways can do to motivate people.

From a guest perspective, I'd say it was decent. Still issues with them continuing to select music that a lot of people simply aren't interested in, especially for an event of this nature but improvements in other areas. Still, I feel like from conversations I've had, more and more people are choosing to stay away from this events as they see them as shallow and nothing more than cattle markets. 

For that reason, I really hope that they can be made to be more compelling attractions in the future, which will entice those disillusioned community members, many of whom are extremely prominent and influential, into giving these events another go. I really would love it if they could once again be 'cannot miss' events that everyone has to make an appearance at.


Wednesday, 4 December 2024

Dares and Consequences


Something that I am quickly learning is that the Titty Twin duo of Jess and Emmy are very adept at finding new and original excuses to justify robbing me of my clothes. This week's excuse was that clothes are forbidden in bath houses and, since that is where I found them, I was obliged to follow the house rules and disrobe.

I'm pretty sure that Jess wasn't even mid-explanation before Emmy was pulling my festive dress off leaving a shell shocked Laura standing there in nothing but my knickers having had absolutely no time to try to defend myself from Emmy's grabby hands. To complete their double teaming of me, Jess then darted behind me and tugged my knickers down to my ankles.

Given that it seems like the Erotic Bathhouse is now going to be the new hangout spot of choice during the wintery months until it warms up enough to venture back to Snowbunny Beach, I get the feeling that this could become a reccurring theme. Hope you don't get bored of the sight of my bare bod.

The rest of the morning was fairly uneventful until I committed a massive faux pas when finally deciding to avail myself of the bath house's soothing waters. Absent-mindedly, I waded into one of the pools whilst still wearing my flip flops. Eager to correct my mistake, I kicked out one foot and then the other to send both flip flops flying across the room.

To my horror, a loud shattering sound! I can't say for sure what it was but Emmy has decorated the bath house with many expensive vases and trinkets so it was no doubt something of some value. Sheepishly, I turned to face Emmy, ready to try to push the blame for whatever damage had occurred onto another of the bath house's guests. My fears were confirmed, I would need to be punished for my clumsiness. And Emmy's choice of punishment was spanking. 

"Not a problem", I thought to myself. When I gave her the chance to spank me for Spanksgiving, she only managed two or three hard spanks before her hand was too sore to continue. My ass, on the other hand, still had plenty of remaining hit points before I would have had to cry for mercy. "Bring it on!".

Not for the first time with Emmy, my over-confidence was my undoing. Somehow, she had already retrieved one of my discarded flip flops and had it head aloft, poised to bring it down hard against my bare bottom. Before I could make any attempt to dodge, it crashed against my butt causing me to yelp in pain.

Thankfully, it was just the one spank. I really don't think I could have taken any more after that first, vicious strike. Especially since that single spank had left my ass too tender to even sit down without severe discomfort.

Presumably feeling some remorse for her brutal assault on my ass, Emmy offered to kiss the soreness better. The soft touch of her moist lips certainly helped at least a little. But I had to call her out on how they strayed a little too far away from the point of injury and into close proximity of my tight little booty hole.

Emmy was quite unapologetic for the transgression, declaring that, in her humble opinion, her tongue deep into my ass was exactly the sort of treatment that would be required, if I would just allow it. Unable to help myself, I couldn't resist daring her to do it. 

What was I thinking when I did that? Well, I make no secret of the fact that I am fond of some butt play. But, as far as experiences with other people, it is largely limited to guys who are eager to shove their dicks in there as soon as possible without any proper foreplay or warm up. So, if Emmy called by bluff, I was confident of receiving the sort of rimming that I have long dreamt of. But I mostly thought that she wouldn't take my dare seriously and think that it was just yet more cruel teasing by me.

This is where I learned something about Emmy; apparently she never backs down from a dare. And she learned something about me; I am always ready to follow through when I put something on the line. I mean, a little bit of jeopardy makes everything a little more exciting, right?

You can see where this is heading, right?

Emmy took me somewhere a little more comfortable. One of the side rooms with a nice padded massage table. Much more comfortable than the hard brickwork that was already causing my knees and elbows to get sore as I leaned on it, still unable to sit any weight on my stinging ass. And then she proceeded to accept my dare and go to work on my ass.


First there were kisses that danced across my bum, then, with my cheeks spread, up my bum crack, before settling over my tight pucker. A series of kisses and slurps, as well as a few soft spanks, before her tongue stiffened and began to work its way inside me.

I absolutely melted as this happened. Burying my face in the table mat as Emmy buried her face in my bum. My groans and whimpers mostly muffled as I pressed my face into the padded table, but the odd one escaped as I had to free my mouth for air.

Her teasing of my rim felt so dreamy that I instinctually pushed by arse back at her, encouraging her to probe deeper with her tongue. Emmy obliged by sloppily nomming at my bumhole. Humming as she pushed her curled up tongue deeper inside.

Lost in the moment though, she allowed herself to overstep her bounds. As her tongue did it's thing, her fingers brushed across my clit before one of them disappeared inside my wet pussy to tickle my G-spot. She should know by now that my pussy is strictly off limits without very specific permission. Something that she has been given just once so far.

For trying to take that liberty, she earned herself a swift admonishment from me, but also a plea to keep going with her exquisitely pleasurably ass play. With a naughty giggle, Emmy took one final liberty as she tickled my throbbing bean with her sticky finger, then a delicate kiss to my rim and back to work with her her tongue.

With Emmy's lips and tongue being in such close proximity, the temptation to steal another unsanctioned touch of my sex could not be ruled out. To safeguard against any further misdemeanours, I cupped a hand over my juicy slit to ward off any rogue attention.

Emmy broke off from tonguing my rosebud for just a moment to playfully nip at my fingertips before resuming making out with my spit wet arsehole, purring against my anus as her tongue wiggled back inside me.

The wiggling felt so divine. I couldn't help but start moving my hand in time with it. The flats of my fingers pressed against my lips, started to circle whilst applying light pressure. The circling became more pronounced. The pressure applied gradually increased. Then my middle finger curled up and slipped inside me, mimicking the tickle that Emmy had given me a few minutes before. One finger then became two as my ring finger curled inside as well.


As I pleasured one of my holes, Emmy took a brief break to give her tongue a rest. Instead, she playful nibbled my bum. Nipping and sucking on my bum flesh, she left a trail bite marks across both cheeks, each one causing me to whimper. My ass now even redder than it had been after her original flip flop attack on it.

With my cheeks suitably degraded, she was back to expert tongue teasing of hers. It swirled around my pucker, the tip teasing me with a delicate wetness, before she pushed it back inside, letting out a loud moan as she did so. It was as if she was imagining that she was making out with my lips rather than my bumhole. It felt like heaven.

The intensity of my fingering grew. How could it not? And Emmy pressed her face tighter into my spread ass cheeks. But not so tight as to prevent a steady trickle of her salvia from running down from my bumhole to where my fingers were busy at work, now lubricated by both Emmy's spit and growing creamy sheen that seemed to coat them slightly more each and every time they withdrew from inside me.

My ever loudening groans turning her on even more, Emmy began fingering herself as well. Both of us were fingering ourselves in unison with a pair of fingers while she gorged herself on my ass. Her free hand squeezed and cupped her tits. Then she slapped those massive funbags of hers against my butt cheeks. Even going as far as to tease both of my holes with her hard and erect nipples.

"Spank me!", I demanded. A series of spanks rained down on tenderized bum making it yet redder still. My cries of pain and discomfort did nothing to dissuade her flurry of blows. More spanks clapped against my swollen arse. And, all the time, both of us still fingering ourselves. My own fingering growing more and more furious.

Emmy implored me to squirt on her tits but squirting is sadly not my forte. For her though, I would do my best to give her what she wanted. Her expert tongue fucking had earned her that much.

Despite my legs trembling, I staggered to my feet and pawed at the back of her head, pulling her as tightly against me as I could. Cream trickling from my sloppy cunt smeared on her chin as her face was enveloped between my buttcheeks.

I don't know if it was that which pushed her over the edge but she climaxed right there and then. A muffled whimper escaped from the depths of my arse as she tensed and quivered.

Literal seconds later, a small trickle of pussy juices escaped my slit, cascading down my inner thighs and then dribbling on to her tits as I joined her in cumming. My body stiffened as I orgasmed hard but my fingers didn't stop. Squelching in and out of my cunt, they encouraged more and more wetness to escape me each time, all of it splashing on to Emmys chin and chest.


Then, as the climax started to subside, my legs went weak and my knees buckled. As I collapsed, Emmy caught me in her arms and brought my body close in against her's for a post-orgasm cuddle. With my head, resting on one of her boobs, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment. And let me tell you, Emmy has extremely comfy boobs. Soft and pillowy. The perfect place to rest one's head.

But, for all the comfort afforded to my head, my ass was stinging like a motherfucker. With every passing moment, my climax faded and the pain I felt on my rear returned. I wiggled and fidgeted but there was no respite to be found.

Not until Emmy laid me down to give me a passionate kiss. Sure, the pain was still there. Probably now even more so with my laying on my ass. But I got lost in the kiss. Lost in our tongues circling and swirling against one another. Lost in getting a test of my own ass from her tongue. Just totally lost in Emmy.

And then, I suppose just by accident of our bodies interlocked, her thigh pressed against my sodden pussy. It was like a bolt of lightning shot through my whole body. I was so fucking sensitive between my legs and the pressure of her thigh pressing against me felt so fucking good. I couldn't resist grinding against her. Rubbing my soaked slit up and down her legs leaving a trail of my wetness.


How did Emmy react to that? Perhaps you would have thought that she would have encouraged me to keep going. To rub out another orgasm against her body. But no. The fucking bitch pulled her leg back from me. Not because she didn't want me to keep going. But because it was her chance for some payback. Her chance to give me a taste of my own medicine by teasing me in my moment of weakness when I was desperate for more. The tables had turned and she would take full advantage.

I pleaded with her to not do that to me. And, giggling fiendishly, she lay her thigh back against me. My hips immediately started moving of their own accord, bouncing up and down on the table, causing me to whence each time my ass pressed back down against the table.

I hooked my leg over her's. A vain attempt to pin her leg where it was as I knew she would pull away again. I failed though and, for a second time, she left me begging her to let me get myself off again. She just giggled at my predicament and how she now had power over me.

Our time together was running short with me having commitments elsewhere very shortly. If I was to do this, if I was to give myself over to her and be putty in her hands, it needed to happen right away. 

Emmy had other ideas though. She wanted to savour every last moment of her new found control over me, probably not knowing if she would ever have me at her mercy like this again. That wouldn't do for me though. It wouldn't do at all. So I wriggled out from her, untangling our bodies as I did so, gave her a loving kiss goodbye and was on my way knowing that I would somehow have to find a spare few moments to get myself off again before my next engagement.

On the positive side though, I think that this backdoor liaison was just what I needed to exorcise any lingering bum-related frustrations that I'd had hanging over from not being able to fully celebrate Spanksgiving Day in the way that I had planned out in my mind.

Oh, and isn't it wonderful to see the return of the Erotic Bathhouse? Always was a big fan of the place. Like I said at the off, I think I might be spending quite a bit of time there over the next few months...

Monday, 2 December 2024

Virtualis//Genesis is out now!


Step into the digital dawn with Virtualis//Genesis to explore the allure and alienation of cyber love and virtual intimacy.

Virtualis//Genesis delves into the shared worlds we construct to bridge the voids in our real lives—worlds where desire is coded, connection is streamed, and the lines between reality and simulation blur.

Embrace the ecstasy and emptiness of a universe built from zeros and ones, where human vulnerability collides with digital infinity.


Ladies and gentlemen, this is an announcement that I've been waiting to make for weeks and I'm thrilled to finally be able to share the music that I have been pouring my heart into for the last few months.

Although I've had a few EPs out for a while, there's nothing quite like putting out a full length album that has a strong concept running throughout. It just feels like a much grander and rewarding achievement.

Then, on top of that to be able to also unveil my debut music video as well is a dream come true. If you like what you hear when you watch below, you should most definitely head over to SoundCloud to listen to more.

Listen to the whole of Virtualis//Genesis at https://soundcloud.com/laura-twk/sets/virtualisgenesis


She can leave her hat on


Holy fucking shitballs! I literally only just realised that it's December. Which can mean only one thing! That's right! It's time to unlock my festive wardrobe and start dressing for the holiday season!

Say goodbye to all that black and hello to white and green. Of course, the red can stay. I mean, what colour is my Christmasy then red, right!

And do you know what is even more exciting than the first day out in Crimbo clothes? Seeing that you're not the only one! OK, OK, OK, Emmy wasn't really wearing any proper clothes. Just socks and a hat. But those socks and hat were 100% festive!


Actually, I even got a telling off for forgetting to wear one of my own Crimbo hats. To be fair, I was a little distracted getting some special things ready for today but it was a fair cop. So I did belatedly trudge home to grab one out of the pile of them in the bottom of my wardrobe.

To atone for my oversight, I also had to give Emmy a flash of my 'baubles' and 'tinsel'. I'll let you work those euphemisms out for yourselves...

Friday, 29 November 2024

Spanks a lot


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