Saturday 1 June 2024

Down But Not Out


Depression sucks balls. Especially when it strikes at the most inopportune times. I has some much content planned for my month of masturbation but that all got very quickly derailed when I had a stupid meltdown that sent me spiralling all the way down to rock bottom.

It's been a rollercoaster of ups and downs since then. More downs than ups, if truth be told. Some of them triggered by shitty drama going on in my family life. Some of them because I have a broken head. And some just because I've been so fucking tired that it's been impossible to think clearly.

I thought I was making good progress after and enjoyable getaway. And even managed to show my face at the Bare Bunnies Spring Fashion show, which was an event that I'd bee looking forwards to ever since I saw its announcement trailer.

The thing is that life has a way of bitch slapping you hardest when you dare to be optimistic that things are getting better and that's exactly what happened next. 

I'm not going to claim that I'm in a good place now. I'm not even close. Any hugs that anyone wants to give me are still very much appreciated. But I am feeling like I'm finally over the hump and maybe, just maybe, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. So I'm going to try once again to tentatively dip my toe into the water and start being more active again after my recent absence. 

Fingers crossed that it lasts longer than the 1 day I managed for the fashion show, which, although it will be somewhat belated, I will try to post something for as soon as I can muster the willpower and enthusiasm. 

Of course, it goes without saying that my Masturbation Bingo challenge got put on hold whilst I was struggling and I was never realistically going to make any further progress to it once everything hit the fan. That fucking sucks because I'd been looking forward to it for so long and I know it was popular with a lot of my social media followers who like hearing about my sexploits. I suppose there is always next year to give it another attempt.

And for what it's worth, I feel like I did manage to get a good amount of it done despite spending only half a month actually ticking things off on it. I even managed to complete a few lines on it, which is something at least.

Anyway, since we're now into June, I can official declare the challenge failed, even if the white flag effectively went up weeks ago. I did manage to tick a few more items off since I last showed off my bingo card so here's the final thing...


Thursday 9 May 2024

Hands on with my Ridge


I feel like reviewing something from Lovense that is applicable to both the boys and girls out there is long overdue. I mean, it’s not often that I get to tackle toys that are unisex, so it’s only fair that I should take the opportunity to give the guys something to think about as well, when the opportunity presents itself. Especially since it is masturbation month and that is something that can be participated in by all.

And, in this case, that opportunity is Lovense’s Ridge, which they describe as “app-controlled vibrating and rotating anal beads”. That’s certainly a description that got my head turning as anal beads are something that I’ve been interested in trying but have never managed to get round to.

So, let’s dive into that description and see how well it really fits the bill.

The elephant in the room


OK, I’m not going to beat around the bush with this one because we really cannot progress at all without addressing this first. The description of the Ridge as “anal beads” is generous at best. Misleading at worst.

At least in my mind, anal beads are a series of individual balls that are each connected by a cord or string. Something resembling a strand of pearls. And the ridge is not that at all. What it is, is three slightly oblong bulbs stacked one on top of others to form a shaft. There is no separation between them and each bulb is actually reasonably large.



For me, it would be far more accurate to describe this arrangement as a ridged butt plug or dildo, although I’m not sure which of those classifications would be more accurate; butt plug because you basically insert it and then leave it in place (i.e no thrusting) or dildo because of the proportions of the shaft. Either way, definitely not anal beads.

With that out of the way, let’s instead focus on what it is rather than what it isn’t.

Let’s talk bulbs, not beads


As already mentioned, its 3 oblong bulbs stacked on top of one another to form a shaft. The sizes of the bulbs are graduated, so the further you insert it, the larger the bulbs become, by which I mean they get wider and longer. As a way of demonstrating that, I’ll give you some quick dimensions; the first bulb is 26mm in diameter, the 2nd is 30mm and the last bulb is 34mm.

The first bulb also has some angle applied to it, which will be relevant when we start talking about its controllable actions, and has a nice squishiness to it that I actually quite like. Not as squishy as something like a jelly dildo, but it has a nice bit of give to it. The other two bulbs have a very subtle squish to their surface but are completely firm underneath that so there is no give there whatsoever.

When inserting it, I personally find that the first two bulbs slip in very easily. Much more so than my original Hush. The third bulb is far less willing though. To go back to the point that some people think of this as more of a dildo, the reason for that is that it is actually pretty long for an anal toy and that means it can go pretty deep.

For my anatomy, that meant it was right on the threshold of whether I can actually take it all. But, with some patience, perseverance and a whole tonne of lube, I can just about get all three bulbs inserted. That’s not without some discomfort though.

Of course, this is something that will vary massively from person to person so shouldn’t be taken as a criticism in any way, but having just the 2 bulbs inserted just felt a lot nicer. But, once I turned the toys on, that caused a few issues which really encouraged me to do my best to endure all three.



And, let’s not forget, at the very bottom, there is a pretty chunky base where you’ll find the buttons and charging connector. When I first held the Ridge in my hands, I was somewhat concerned that it would be a bit too chunky. It’s a lot wider and deeper than on either of my Hushs, which would be my best frame of reference. 

However, it wasn’t too noticeable when I was sat in a chair or lying on my bed. I would say that it is a bit too bulky for walking around though. Again though, that’s just for my body and it might by less noticeable for other users
 

Turn it (and me) on


This is a Lovense toy we are talking about, so the physical aspect of the toy is really just a small piece of a much bigger puzzle. After all, it is all the crazy and inventive controllable features that make them so much fun to play with.

For the Ridge, there are two different actions or motions to pleasure us. Firstly, there is the pretty standard vibrating action that is pretty much to be expected with any of their toys. Secondly, and far more interestingly, there is a rotation action for the end of the “beads”.

Remember how I mentioned that the first bulb was angled? That’s because it will rotate around in a circle. If you have or are familiar with Lovense’s Nora, it’s not too dissimilar to that. From what I understand, it is designed to do a very good job of stimulating the prostate, if you have one of those.

The vibrations have the usual selection of Lovense patterns that you can cycle through by clicking one of the buttons, while the rotations come in 3 speeds, which are cycled using the other button and can reach up to 116 rotations per minute. Of course, these means that both actions are fully independent from one another, which allows for plenty of variation.

And on the topic of the buttons, a small nitpick here, but it’s a little annoying that there is no way to differentiate between them. OK, when it’s inserted in your ass, you cannot see them anyway, but there doesn’t seem to be any sort of visual indication of which is which when you are simply holding it in your hands. Turning it on and off always turns into an exercise in trial and error.

The solution is simple, of course, just use the phone app, which I’m pretty sure I have praised many times in previous reviews for just how great and feature-rich it is. I love the app and will always choose using that over the physical controls on any of my toys.



This is the first of the issues that I had when choosing the more comfortable insertion position of just 2 out of 3 bulbs; the amount of vibes I was getting really wasn’t enough. As for the other issue, that was in regards to the rotation.

When fully inserted, the Ridge sits nice and snuggly which allows the rotation effect to be felt quite effectively. However, when only partially inserted, I found that, without being anchored all the way along the shaft, it tended to be the protruding portion that would start wiggling while the inserted section remained. Or, at least some of the internal rotation would be lost as external wiggling.

When working properly though, the rotation was a pretty pleasant and unique experience that my ass has is not used to. At times, when the position of the end bulb was just right, I could even feel it rub against my G-spot through the wall of ass, which is something that I will never complain about.

In general though, I wouldn’t say it was a game changer. Not like the way that the Nora’s rotation feels amazing as it consistently hits my G-spot. Of course, and I’ve probably alluded to this enough already, but mileage will vary depending on your personal anatomy. And I would be interested to hear the male perspective on this as I feel like it is much more suited to rubbing their prostate than for us G-sport owners.

Taking it deep


So, I think that the biggest take away from all of this is that, to get the most out of the Ridge, full insertion is recommended. Although, it seems like I’m not the only user who struggles to take it all without at least some discomfort. If you like deep anal penetration though, then the Ridge should be right up your street. I believe the total insertable length is 5.8 inches, if you are interested in such things.

One other thing I should mention whilst on the topic of taking it all, when on my back with my legs in the air, I did find that it tried to escape a few times when I had managed to squeeze all three bulbs inside my ass. No doubt a combination of the tight fit length-wise, the relatively narrow diameter of the widest bulb and the wiggling action of the toy.

For that reason, my usage has mostly been limited to sitting on it, so that the weight of my body can keep it pushed in against my chair. Something that did worry me a little at first but there is a little bit of flexibility where the shaft meets the base; probably just enough to not have to constantly worry about snapping it unless you are particularly violent with it.

Given that it is basically a rigid shaft, fucking yourself with it is definitely an option as opposed to just pushing it in a leaving it in place. Personally, I didn’t really try that, simply because of how reluctant my ass had been to take the final bulb. Once it was in, I preferred to just leave it there rather than trying to thrust it in and out.



What’s in the box?

I think that with all that said, all that is left to cover is the nerdy stuff of what you actually get and the product specs of it so here we go.

In terms of unboxing, please stop me if you’ve heard this all before, but you get all of the usual Lovense goodies in their typically well-designed packaging. That means that, in addition to the toy itself, you get a basic but functional bag to store it in, the trademark Lovense magnetic charging cable that has become standard with all of their toys from the last few years and a small instruction booklet.

As for the product specs of the Ridge, a lot of this will also sound familiar. For instance, the toy is made from body-safe silicon and is rated as IPX7 waterproof, which is again, pretty standard for Lovense by now.

Lovense say that battery life is around 2hr 30mins. I’ve never managed to run the battery down, despite using it continuously for a few hours on occasion. Presumably that battery life is based on running it hard at max power, which I definitely wasn’t doing. So no complaints over how long you can use it for. Charge time also seems pretty quick, although I’ve clearly never had to do that from empty.

And, finally, all of the usual cleaning tips for Lovense toys apply. Just use any decent sex-toy cleaner or mild soap and you shouldn’t have any dramas with the silicon degrading.

In closing


As I addressed at the outside, I really don’t think the Ridge can be described as anal beads but that’s not to say it isn’t a good anal toy. I’d actually say it is a good toy but not a great toy.

More so than with any other Lovense toy that I’ve tried, I feel like the amount of pleasure that you can get from the Ridge will be very dependent on your personal body. Both in terms of the physical fit of it and in terms of the stimulation it will give you. Personally, if I’m going to put a vibrating toy up my butt, it’s more likely to be one of my Hushs but that’s not to say that I won’t use my Ridge from time to time.

And, in a first for me, I might actually be finding myself writing a review that is more likely to recommend the Ridge to men rather than women. For us girls, I reckon it will be a bit more hit or miss depending on how deep you like your ass to be penetrated. For guys, my guess would be that the appeal is a bit more global once you get it rubbing the prostate. Please don’t quote me on that though; it’s purely a guess.

Regardless of whether you are male or female, if you think the Ridge could be the toy for you and want to give it a try, head over to the Lovense store to pick one up right now.

Wednesday 8 May 2024

Week #1 Fap Recap


Prior to giving you my very first fap recap of this year's Masturbation Month, I wanted to try to knock out a few more easy tasks. Having had some pretty good success checking tasks off my bingo card on my last visit, there was surely no better place for that than Snowbunny Beach, which is rapidly become my go to place. Many will go there for the Bunnies & Bulls event, but me, I go for the banter, friendly faces and fapping.

And on that topic of fapping, fingering has very much been the flavour of my faps for week #1, with only one sessions so far involving any toys. That has been part tactical and part just down to my mood on any given day. So my plan was to see if I can get any more fingering tasks down at before week #1 ends and then focus more on the toy tasks for week #2.

Whilst I did manage to check off a few more tasks at Snowbunny, none of them were finger ones. I had hoped to maybe encourage a few other folk to fap with me to help me make some progress with the communal masturbation tasks but what transpired exceeded all of my expectations.

I was fortunate in that there were plenty of those friendly faces that I mentioned earlier and the banter was flying. The perfect environment to generate some horniness amongst the other visitors. And, with that in mind, I shamelessly parked myself in the middle of my girlies and began twiddling my bean.


After I spied her trying to give me some sneaky side eye to perv on my bean rubbing, Jess was first to join in. Obviously quite turned on by what I was doing. Sara quickly joined in, clearly not wanting to be left out. And then, rather surprisingly, Emmy was the last of my girls to join in, whilst also allowing Adam Black, who had presumably already pumped her full of cum before I arrived, to have a play with her.

By my reckoning, that was 4 people joining in with the fapping fun, meaning I could check of the communal fapping with 3 others task off my bingo card. 

Four soon became six when another couple of beach visitors joined in by playing each other. I suppose they were technically part of our little circle of fun but I feel like they were still close enough to be considered be within the sphere of our communal play. And I have no doubt that seeing four sexy ladies getting themselves off would have given them plenty of encouragement to get it on themselves. 

With them counted, that adds fapping with 5 other people to the completed tasks, which is super pleasing for me being I was worried that the communal tasks would be amongst the hardest. 

Obviously, fapping with 10 others is still a pretty daunting tasks. No doubt the hardest one on the entire card and one which realistically is going to require some bukake fun where I have a group of horny guys surrounding me while they jerk off. But to get the other communal ones already completed by the end of week #1 is a real bonus.

So, where does that leave us with the bingo card at the end of week #1? Well, why don't you take a look for yourself below. If my quick count is accurate, that leaves me on 15/49 tasks completed within the first week, which puts me nicely ahead of schedule, even if many of them were the easier tasks.

And, like I said earlier, I think toy play with be my main focus for week #2, so you can probably look forwarding to hearing more about that over the next 7 days. We might even get my first completed line as we can see that the centre column is only missing one tick and that's another pretty easy one. Let's see what the week holds...


Monday 6 May 2024

Inside the Magical World of Mystix


When it comes to pantyhose photography, there is only one name that should spring to mind; Mystix.

Such is the standing of her work, both as photographer and as a set builder, that working with her is undoubtably something that should appear on every model's bucket list. You just need to scan down the list of names that she has photographed in the past to see that it's a who's who of the biggest names around.

And my patient wait to be added to that list is hopefully nearly at and end, which I couldn't be more thrilled about. Indeed, the intention was that we would shoot together tonight but, before getting going, Mystix invited to me to take a tour of her studio with her.

I was already well aware of the creativity of her sets. I would probably go as far as to say that it is unrivalled. But I was completely unprepared for the sheer number of them. Spread across four floors and arranged by different themes or styles, I lost count of how many she had. Each time I was sure that we'd seen it all, Mystix would unveil yet another floor or area to peruse around. 

And I particularly love how Mystix has even gone to the effort of making walking around the studio an event in and of itself. It's not just what is intended to be in front of camera lens that has been considered here. Every last millimetre is beautifully designed and lovingly crafted. The whole space, which is considerable, is a piece of art. 


By the time the tour finally reached its conclusion, it had been around 2 hrs, which unfortunately left us with no time to actually take any proper photos. Honestly though, I could have continued exploring them for another 2 hrs and still have barely scratched the surface. 

The best way I can describe walking round her studio is that it is an 'experience'. The most unique experience I have had in a long time, and like nothing I have ever had before as a model. Each set is stunning in its own right, so don't think for a second that its a case of quantity over quality. It's mind-boggling to think about how much time and love has gone into creating them.

And the fact that I have to pick just a few favourites to potentially shoot on is a massively daunting idea. For that reason, it's probably a good job that I've got a little more time to consider all of the options available. Without giving too much away, I think I'll go for ones that somehow fit my personality or are themed after things that I may be well-known for.


Now, you may be asking where are all my pictures from my tour? I've already explained that we didn't have time for the actual shot, but I must have been taking some whilst walking round, right? And I did take a few, but I don't feel it would be right to show them apart from this couple of teasers from the lobby.

Mystix's studio is something that needs to be experienced first hand and I don't want to rob anyone who might have the chance to visit it of getting to sample that sense of wonder I had when walking round for the first time. In this case, to give you that glimpse behind the curtain would also peel away some of the magic of the studio itself, as well as all of the stunning images that Mystix and her guests create there. I really don't want to do that.

But I will say a massive thank you to Mystix for giving me the opportunity to see it for myself and for  how generous she was with her time. It was quite remarkable how warm and welcoming she was. It all added to how magical my time there felt. I couldn't be more excited about the prospect of getting to go back again and to this time come away with something that I can show all over you.


Mutual Mondays


It's funny how I always seem to get more invites to take part in photoshoots around this time of the year and that most of them have a common theme. It's almost as if I've managed to get some sort of reputation for masturbation or something.

All I'll say to that is that it's reassuring that at least some people must be paying attention to all the smutty... I mean informative... things that I post in order for me to become known for something.

That said, if there is one other person who has also been proudly flying the flag for self-pleasuring, that would have to be Jerome. Indeed, you may remember that I had him on last year's masturbation themed episode of the Text to Speech Podcast where I got to talk all about beating the meat with him and Caligula.

So it obviously makes total sense that he would wait until now to invite me to appear in one of his shoots as it all ties in rather nicely. And I think those are the best sort of shoots; where they are somehow relevant to or inspired by the model instead of being something a little more generic.

And that sort of thoughtfulness that really help to elevate the quality of his work. It's fun and cheeky but thoughtfully put together with beautiful compositions set against stunning vistas. For that reason, you should absolutely click the image below to head over to his Twitter and give him a follow. If you do, I'm sure you will be rewarded with more posts like this one every Monday during Masturbation Month! 


And, on a side note, it is definitely worth pointing out that I managed to tick off at least two more items on my Masturbation Month bingo card whilst we were doing this shoot.

You can probably work them out for yourselves just by looking at his amazing pictures. If not, you'll have to wait until tomorrow and my first weekly fap recap to get the low down on how I'm getting on so far.