Thursday 9 May 2024

Hands on with my Ridge

I feel like reviewing something from Lovense that is applicable to both the boys and girls out there is long overdue. I mean, it’s not often that I get to tackle toys that are unisex, so it’s only fair that I should take the opportunity to give the guys something to think about as well, when the opportunity presents itself. Especially since it is masturbation month and that is something that can be participated in by all.

And, in this case, that opportunity is Lovense’s Ridge, which they describe as “app-controlled vibrating and rotating anal beads”. That’s certainly a description that got my head turning as anal beads are something that I’ve been interested in trying but have never managed to get round to.

So, let’s dive into that description and see how well it really fits the bill.

The elephant in the room

OK, I’m not going to beat around the bush with this one because we really cannot progress at all without addressing this first. The description of the Ridge as “anal beads” is generous at best. Misleading at worst.

At least in my mind, anal beads are a series of individual balls that are each connected by a cord or string. Something resembling a strand of pearls. And the ridge is not that at all. What it is, is three slightly oblong bulbs stacked one on top of others to form a shaft. There is no separation between them and each bulb is actually reasonably large.

For me, it would be far more accurate to describe this arrangement as a ridged butt plug or dildo, although I’m not sure which of those classifications would be more accurate; butt plug because you basically insert it and then leave it in place (i.e no thrusting) or dildo because of the proportions of the shaft. Either way, definitely not anal beads.

With that out of the way, let’s instead focus on what it is rather than what it isn’t.

Let’s talk bulbs, not beads

As already mentioned, its 3 oblong bulbs stacked on top of one another to form a shaft. The sizes of the bulbs are graduated, so the further you insert it, the larger the bulbs become, by which I mean they get wider and longer. As a way of demonstrating that, I’ll give you some quick dimensions; the first bulb is 26mm in diameter, the 2nd is 30mm and the last bulb is 34mm.

The first bulb also has some angle applied to it, which will be relevant when we start talking about its controllable actions, and has a nice squishiness to it that I actually quite like. Not as squishy as something like a jelly dildo, but it has a nice bit of give to it. The other two bulbs have a very subtle squish to their surface but are completely firm underneath that so there is no give there whatsoever.

When inserting it, I personally find that the first two bulbs slip in very easily. Much more so than my original Hush. The third bulb is far less willing though. To go back to the point that some people think of this as more of a dildo, the reason for that is that it is actually pretty long for an anal toy and that means it can go pretty deep.

For my anatomy, that meant it was right on the threshold of whether I can actually take it all. But, with some patience, perseverance and a whole tonne of lube, I can just about get all three bulbs inserted. That’s not without some discomfort though.

Of course, this is something that will vary massively from person to person so shouldn’t be taken as a criticism in any way, but having just the 2 bulbs inserted just felt a lot nicer. But, once I turned the toys on, that caused a few issues which really encouraged me to do my best to endure all three.

And, let’s not forget, at the very bottom, there is a pretty chunky base where you’ll find the buttons and charging connector. When I first held the Ridge in my hands, I was somewhat concerned that it would be a bit too chunky. It’s a lot wider and deeper than on either of my Hushs, which would be my best frame of reference. 

However, it wasn’t too noticeable when I was sat in a chair or lying on my bed. I would say that it is a bit too bulky for walking around though. Again though, that’s just for my body and it might by less noticeable for other users

Turn it (and me) on

This is a Lovense toy we are talking about, so the physical aspect of the toy is really just a small piece of a much bigger puzzle. After all, it is all the crazy and inventive controllable features that make them so much fun to play with.

For the Ridge, there are two different actions or motions to pleasure us. Firstly, there is the pretty standard vibrating action that is pretty much to be expected with any of their toys. Secondly, and far more interestingly, there is a rotation action for the end of the “beads”.

Remember how I mentioned that the first bulb was angled? That’s because it will rotate around in a circle. If you have or are familiar with Lovense’s Nora, it’s not too dissimilar to that. From what I understand, it is designed to do a very good job of stimulating the prostate, if you have one of those.

The vibrations have the usual selection of Lovense patterns that you can cycle through by clicking one of the buttons, while the rotations come in 3 speeds, which are cycled using the other button and can reach up to 116 rotations per minute. Of course, these means that both actions are fully independent from one another, which allows for plenty of variation.

And on the topic of the buttons, a small nitpick here, but it’s a little annoying that there is no way to differentiate between them. OK, when it’s inserted in your ass, you cannot see them anyway, but there doesn’t seem to be any sort of visual indication of which is which when you are simply holding it in your hands. Turning it on and off always turns into an exercise in trial and error.

The solution is simple, of course, just use the phone app, which I’m pretty sure I have praised many times in previous reviews for just how great and feature-rich it is. I love the app and will always choose using that over the physical controls on any of my toys.

This is the first of the issues that I had when choosing the more comfortable insertion position of just 2 out of 3 bulbs; the amount of vibes I was getting really wasn’t enough. As for the other issue, that was in regards to the rotation.

When fully inserted, the Ridge sits nice and snuggly which allows the rotation effect to be felt quite effectively. However, when only partially inserted, I found that, without being anchored all the way along the shaft, it tended to be the protruding portion that would start wiggling while the inserted section remained. Or, at least some of the internal rotation would be lost as external wiggling.

When working properly though, the rotation was a pretty pleasant and unique experience that my ass has is not used to. At times, when the position of the end bulb was just right, I could even feel it rub against my G-spot through the wall of ass, which is something that I will never complain about.

In general though, I wouldn’t say it was a game changer. Not like the way that the Nora’s rotation feels amazing as it consistently hits my G-spot. Of course, and I’ve probably alluded to this enough already, but mileage will vary depending on your personal anatomy. And I would be interested to hear the male perspective on this as I feel like it is much more suited to rubbing their prostate than for us G-sport owners.

Taking it deep

So, I think that the biggest take away from all of this is that, to get the most out of the Ridge, full insertion is recommended. Although, it seems like I’m not the only user who struggles to take it all without at least some discomfort. If you like deep anal penetration though, then the Ridge should be right up your street. I believe the total insertable length is 5.8 inches, if you are interested in such things.

One other thing I should mention whilst on the topic of taking it all, when on my back with my legs in the air, I did find that it tried to escape a few times when I had managed to squeeze all three bulbs inside my ass. No doubt a combination of the tight fit length-wise, the relatively narrow diameter of the widest bulb and the wiggling action of the toy.

For that reason, my usage has mostly been limited to sitting on it, so that the weight of my body can keep it pushed in against my chair. Something that did worry me a little at first but there is a little bit of flexibility where the shaft meets the base; probably just enough to not have to constantly worry about snapping it unless you are particularly violent with it.

Given that it is basically a rigid shaft, fucking yourself with it is definitely an option as opposed to just pushing it in a leaving it in place. Personally, I didn’t really try that, simply because of how reluctant my ass had been to take the final bulb. Once it was in, I preferred to just leave it there rather than trying to thrust it in and out.

What’s in the box?

I think that with all that said, all that is left to cover is the nerdy stuff of what you actually get and the product specs of it so here we go.

In terms of unboxing, please stop me if you’ve heard this all before, but you get all of the usual Lovense goodies in their typically well-designed packaging. That means that, in addition to the toy itself, you get a basic but functional bag to store it in, the trademark Lovense magnetic charging cable that has become standard with all of their toys from the last few years and a small instruction booklet.

As for the product specs of the Ridge, a lot of this will also sound familiar. For instance, the toy is made from body-safe silicon and is rated as IPX7 waterproof, which is again, pretty standard for Lovense by now.

Lovense say that battery life is around 2hr 30mins. I’ve never managed to run the battery down, despite using it continuously for a few hours on occasion. Presumably that battery life is based on running it hard at max power, which I definitely wasn’t doing. So no complaints over how long you can use it for. Charge time also seems pretty quick, although I’ve clearly never had to do that from empty.

And, finally, all of the usual cleaning tips for Lovense toys apply. Just use any decent sex-toy cleaner or mild soap and you shouldn’t have any dramas with the silicon degrading.

In closing

As I addressed at the outside, I really don’t think the Ridge can be described as anal beads but that’s not to say it isn’t a good anal toy. I’d actually say it is a good toy but not a great toy.

More so than with any other Lovense toy that I’ve tried, I feel like the amount of pleasure that you can get from the Ridge will be very dependent on your personal body. Both in terms of the physical fit of it and in terms of the stimulation it will give you. Personally, if I’m going to put a vibrating toy up my butt, it’s more likely to be one of my Hushs but that’s not to say that I won’t use my Ridge from time to time.

And, in a first for me, I might actually be finding myself writing a review that is more likely to recommend the Ridge to men rather than women. For us girls, I reckon it will be a bit more hit or miss depending on how deep you like your ass to be penetrated. For guys, my guess would be that the appeal is a bit more global once you get it rubbing the prostate. Please don’t quote me on that though; it’s purely a guess.

Regardless of whether you are male or female, if you think the Ridge could be the toy for you and want to give it a try, head over to the Lovense store to pick one up right now.

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